Amour

From A Wicked Beginning, now available:

“Is there any time…now, I mean…that you feel innocent?”

“Chérie, I honestly don’t remember what innocence feels like. I think I was born old and worn out while my dad was hammering away at my mom to hurry up and get the goddamned baby out for Christ sake.” He watched Chérie sigh. Then little tears formed in her eyes. Shit. “I’m sorry, babe. That’s just what it was like growing up.” He wiped away her tears with his thumbs and looked into her limitless gaze.

Looking into her eyes was like looking into the universe, all mystery and wonder. He felt like he was falling into space. Then, Goddamn it all to hell, he started to cry, too. His heart felt like it was cracking into bits, held in the vast expanse of Chérie’s being. His mind was flooded with a memory of this little kid, this little boy Cam, never getting a chance to just be a kid. Now he was bawling. These fucking waterworks seemed to be pushing debris out of his system, much like the rapids push leaves, branches, even trees, down the river. Chérie had wrapped her arms around him, and the two of them were fucking crying like two small children. Cam sobbed and heaved like a dying man. Hell, this was going to destroy his image as a tough guy, he thought in the corner of his mind.

When the water show had eased up, he leaned back, seized his sweatshirt off the blanket and dabbed at Chérie’s eyes before scrubbing his own face. She smiled at him with this beatific glow. “That was different,” he said, smiling back at her.

“How do you feel now?”

He thought about it for a moment. “Kind of cleaned out, I guess.”

“Any innocence in there?”

He laughed. “You know, there might be a little bit, yeah…”

“Where do you feel it?”

“Well, Doc, I seem to feel it right here…” He knocked his chest with his fist.

“That’s perfect, Cam.”

“I’d rather feel it right here,” he said cupping his crotch. “And here…” He gestured towards her pelvis.

“Yeah, but this is where my experiment comes in,” she responded enthusiastically.

“Lay it on me.”

“For this to work, you have to have a pure heart, right?”

“What do you mean by ‘this’?” Cam wiggled his eyebrows up and down.

Chérie shook her head. “You know what I mean. Now, do you want to try this or not?”

“Yes, boss.”

“Okay. So feel that spot in your heart that feels like innocence…or softness…or whatever you want to call it.”

“Okay, coach, got it.”

“Now, kiss me.”

He looked over at her eager face. “That’s easy…” he said, reaching towards her.

“You have to stay in that super soft vulnerable place in your heart.”

“Hmm, that might be a twist in the plan.”

“Try it, Cam.”

He swallowed. This was going to be harder than it seemed. He’d had a million sexual encounters. Most of them had one goal in mind – getting off. And sure, he’d cared about the women he did it with – some of them at least. Chérie was the only one he’d fallen hook, line, and sinker in love with, however. And he’d only really realized that after they’d split up last year. He swallowed again. He was actually nervous, like a fucking virgin. He realized his foot was shaking back and forth like a flag fluttering in a tornado. Calm down, he urged himself… This is only a kiss. “Okay…okay, babe.” He scooted close to her and cupped the back of her neck. “Okay…” he said again. Then, he laughed. “Damn, Chérie, I feel like I’ve never done this.”

“You probably haven’t.” She smiled back at him encouragingly. “Keep the focus here, Cam.” She tapped his heart.

“I may only be able to do this once.”

“Once is a start,” she encouraged.

He took a deep breath. Moved cautiously towards her mouth… Lips connected…check…he felt all fluttery inside…weird. A pulse of sensation flooded his heart. Her lips were so soft…so sweet…his cock stirred, but no pulsating evil in his leg. He pulled back and gulped. “What do you think? How’d I do?”

“That was great, Cam. How do you feel?”

“Like I’m fucking five-years-old…”

“That’s wonderful…let’s try it again.”

“Okay, coach, let me out on the playing field again.” He leaned in for another kiss…and began to melt into the intoxicating kiss.

From A Wicked Beginning, now available at Amazon and other outlets.