Do you ever wish life was perfect? Ever wonder why you don’t have a perfect life, perfect finances, perfect harmony in your life? I have clung to the idea of perfection for a long time. Don’t get me wrong – I have a fantastic life and am often in a state of gratitude. But then there are those other times. At times, like last week, I have been certain that if I only made a perfect amount of money, more than I currently make, life would be perfect. I have often stayed tucked into a fantasy that if a friend or loved one has disagreement with me, they were out the door because the friendship was not “perfect”. I would whimper and whine, wondering why I had been wronged, wondering why my friendships and relationships weren’t perfect. Guess what? They are! They’re perfect opportunities for me to grow, change and evolve.
Recently, I went through some devastating upsets, one after another, involving a beloved friend, family stuff and finances. Circumstances turned out the way they turned out, leaving me bereft and wallowing in a state of disbelief. For weeks, I wandered about bewildered at what had happened. I could not believe my friend’s choices. I could not believe that the bookkeeper (who has since been fired) could be so stupid. I found myself furious over the bank’s folly and their refusal to set things right in a timely manner. I wallowed, I raged, I stormed. Did my storms change anything? Nope. What changed then? Ultimately, I realized that everything is perfect. As it is. Without changing it. Wait a minute…really?? Yes, really.
“What’s so perfect about these circumstances?” I wondered. “I didn’t ask for any of this to happen. I’m a victim of circumstance, I tell you. A victim!”
The little devil’s advocate who sits on my shoulder had something different to say. “You know you made a vow to not be anyone’s or anything’s victim, don’t you?”
“I remember the day you said you would stop being a victim.”
“I said, be quiet!”
“You were very clear about this. You said no more victim-hood. You said you would own your life choices, deal with life’s difficulties, grow and evolve. You told me you would let your inner superhero out when the going got rough.”
“Quiet, I tell you!”
“I’m not going to go away. Not until you listen to yourself. Stuff happens. You even write about this in your Wicked Series – it’s not what happens to you, it’s how you deal with it that makes you a great person.”
Damn! Little devil is right. I do write about that. My characters may wallow about for a while, but they always come around to seeing and owning their greatness. Always.
Deciding to turn things about and stop the wallowing, some wonderful things happened. I reached out to friends and acquaintances and got some great feedback and support. New people appeared in my life unexpectedly, helping me heal the unresolved stuff with friendship issues. Plus, they provided new outlets for communication, something I can’t live without. Good communication is essential to my well being. Finances aren’t yet fully recovered but on the way to being recovered. And, it looks like it could be a better than ever situation is on the way. My Sweetie Pie and I got closer than ever and set about to fixing that which we could fix. We worked as a team to resolve issues. Most important, I am happy and there is joy in my heart once more. My inner superhero is frolicking about.
I’m the last person to tell you to stop wallowing, stop feeling and stop being mad when life hands you difficulties. Feelings have their place in some of our lives. But, when you are finally tired of wallowing about in the mud without affecting anything, I do hope you’ll rise up, clean off and get to some acceptance of what is before you. It might be time to end a sick relationship. It might be time to grieve, mourn and move on at last from a great relationship that ended and let someone new into your heart. It might be time to get a new job, a new situation, a new something…! Whatever it is, I know you can find the answers, the ones that will bring you peace, through acceptance of what IS. Let your inner superhero out to thrive and help you find your way.