Rated R – Does that make me an outlaw?
If you’re not comfortable reading about sex, please don’t buy my books. They are Rated R: Restricted. Children Under 17 Require Accompanying Parent or Adult Guardian. An R-rated motion picture, in the view of the Rating Board, contains some adult material. An R-rated motion picture may include adult themes, adult activity, hard language, intense or persistent violence, sexually-oriented nudity, drug abuse or other elements, so that parents are counseled to take this rating very seriously.
If you do like books with a whole lot of heart and soul, a great deal of creativity and inspired imagination, start the series – I think you’ll like them!
Whatever your choice, please don’t make me an outlaw.
Sheriff: So what brings you to these here parts, Calinda B?
Calinda B: Gosh, sheriff, I just wanted to express myself and write about things that interest me. I thought others might enjoy my writing, too!
Sheriff: And what kinds of things interest you, little miss?
Calinda B: Oh, people engaged with one another, growing, evolving, exploring the world around them.
Sheriff, thoughtfully scratching chin: What, exactly, do you mean by “engage?”
Calinda B, looking at her lap: Oh, you know…engaging.
Sheriff, whipping out a copy of A Wicked Awakening, flipping to a bookmarked excerpt: “He was a great kisser. A completely sensual man, he liked to kiss long, slow, and deep, or impart brief little butterfly kisses over my neck and face. I loved having him suck my lower lip and then lazily investigate the inside of my mouth with his delectable tongue. ” Is that what you consider engaging?
Calinda B, studying her feet: That’s one way to engage.
Sheriff, flipping to another bookmark: “He sucked in air between his teeth and began to thrust inside of me with one long, slow push. His ragged voice asked, “Like this, Chér?”
“Yes, like that…oh, yes, like that…Now stroke me s-s-soft and…and…and…and…oh, God… stroke me soft and deep…” What about that?? Is that engaging?
Calinda B, eyes narrowed, looking directly at the sheriff: Yes, that’s another way to engage. What about the page after page of story in between those scenes? You skipped many chapters, there pal. There’s a story to be read.
Sheriff, thumping the book on the table, causing dust to swirl into the air: I didn’t read those parts. I just jumped to the places that had people engaging as you call it.
Calinda B: And did you like it, sheriff?
Sheriff, clearing his throat: That’s not the point. The point is, you wrote stuff that’s explosive. We’re not sure if we want an outlaw such as yourself here.
Calinda B, squaring off: Then don’t buy the book. Do yourself a favor. If there’s readers like me out there, I’m pretty sure they like the book. Some of them have already told me so. But tell me sheriff, what kinds of books do you like to read?
Sheriff: Decent stuff – like murder mysteries, war crimes…things like that.
Calinda B: I see. So reading about people die violently, be maimed or injured…that’s okay. But reading about people trying to figure themselves out and then lovingly connect….that’s considered inappropriate….is that how it is?
Sheriff, looks away, then back at Calinda: Don’t change the subject. If you write this much sex into your books, you’ve got to be an outlaw. It’s too much.
Calinda B: Another reader says there wasn’t enough. He said it was so juicy he wanted more.
Sheriff: Well then, he’s as warped as you are.
Calinda B: I don’t consider myself warped. I consider myself pretty healthy. So tell me – how can we sort this out? Agree to disagree, if you will?
Sheriff, adjusting collar: I suppose you live on your side of the tracks, and I’ll live on mine.
Calinda B: Am I still an outlaw?
Sheriff: Not as long as you keep your books on your side of the tracks.
Calinda B: Okay then, give me my book back.
Sheriff, snatching the book behind his back: I need it as evidence.
Calinda B, raising her eyebrows in suspicion: Give it back.
Sheriff: No. I, er, uh, I need it.
Calinda B: What for? Give it back!
Sheriff: Okay, okay, okay….you’re not an outlaw. You’re a good writer.